The consistently random posts where I utilize my strengths which include drinking cocktails and sharing a bullet point list of shit I found on the internet. I love you, internet.
First off, it's VeganMoFo and I actually did one of the daily prompts. For day 19, "a dish with five ingredients or fewer (not including cooking oil and salt and pepper)" I made quinoa with kale stems and roasted vegetables (shallots, Brussels sprouts, and sweet potatoes).
As a person who identifies as bun-curious, I'm excited to try out Meera Sodha's recipe for vegan mushroom bao. (via The Guardian)
Every one in a while the internet gives you a gift, like when you're trying to find the article about the Nicolas Cage potato snacks sold in Japan, so you google "Nicolas Cage Japan" and you are delighted by a collection of absurd Pachinko commercials.
Side note: I might just start putting "Japan" at the end of all my searches.
Jane Goodall, at 83, still inspiring and making a difference for the animals in this great interview at Scientific American.
“Every single individual makes a difference every single day,” she says in her quiet but determined British accent. “We get to choose what sort of difference we’re going to make.”
Try to force out of your mind images of Spencer Pratt with his crystals and embrace this beginner's guide to crystals. (via The GirlieGirl Army) Don't let him ruin this for us.
The director of Drive and Neon Demon, Nicholas Winding Refn, is introducing his own free streaming service. "Each month will feature a different restored movie (thanks in part to Harvard Film Archive) that fits into a theme that'll change every quarter."The service launches in February, but beta registration is live now. (via Engadget)
Cocktail of the Week: Gin and Tonic
Email that crap out of us @ monicatara[at]gmail.com. Or just comment here! We would love feedback and cocktail ideas!
A safe place for lovers of movies and pun-based food recipes with a fondness for TBS's Dinner and A Movie. Oh yeah, and all the classic Dinner and A Movie recipes will be veganized. The Movie Dragnet (1987) Leonard Maltin Review: **1/2 D: Tom Mankiewicz. Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer, Harry Morgan, Alexandra Paul, Jack O'Halloran, Elizabeth Ashley, Dabney Coleman, Kathleen Freeman. Aykroyd is a comic reincarnation of Jack Webb, playing Sgt. Joe Friday's dense but dedicated nephew in this parody. Hanks is fun as his freewheeling new partner, with Morgan, Webb's onetime sidekick, now promoted to captain of the L.A.P.D. Starts out quite funny, then goes flat...but the punchline is a howl. Aykroyd co-scripted with Mankiewicz and Alan Zweibel.
Spoiler Alert: There may be spoilers peppered though the movie portion of this post, consider yourself warned.
First, let's take a look at the title theme because it is so painfully and beautifully 80's.
"Just the facts, ma'am." -Joe Friday
Dragnet, originally an American radio series started in 1949, that portrayed the cases of a Los Angeles police detective, Sergeant Joe Friday, and his partners. (Wikipedia never lies) For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of a radio series, it's like a podcast that streams live by using radio waves to carry information like sound.
This classic buddy cop comedy is filled with intrigue, car chases, girls in bikinis, a virgin in a white dress, an evil group raining havoc on the city of Los Angeles, but at the heart it, it's about friendship...and the defense of pornography?
"Friday, these animals were trapped and stunned and roped and crated and shipped. Dropped into cages. You think they were out in the wild, forming lines, jockeying for position saying, 'Take me. Take me. I wanna live on the damn cement'?" - Pep
At the beginning of the movie, we get the strong impression that Pep Streebek, Joe Friday's new partner, might be a vegan/vegetarian concerned with animal rights issues. First, he argues with Joe that dragging an animal out of its natural habitat and trapping it in a cage to live in a zoo for the rest of its existence is animal cruelty, both valid and true. Then, he lectures Joe on his unhealthy chili dog habit whilst eating a mixture of fruit and lettuce with chopsticks. However, halfway through the movie he kills a 30 foot anaconda with a handful of hallucinogenic drugs and asks Granny Monday if she's ever eaten a chili dog off the back of a motorcycle. Is this a commentary on the fickle nature of hipster youths or just inconsistency?
Enid Borden (Kathleen Freeman) has the best lines in this movie: "That goddamned pus-faced little pimp stick!" "Useless scum lapping shit bag!" "...so there's nothing you can do about it, you slimy little jizz bucket!" "That miserable little bag of puke!"
Peter Leeds, Kathleen Freeman (above), and Harry Morgan (M*A*S*H) were all cast members of various earlier "Dragnet" shows. (IMDB)
"Look out! Moppets!" -Joe Friday
What happened to movies with car chases that destroy fruit carts or hit piles of stuffed animals? I googled moppet and it means a small endearingly sweet child. I'm so glad they didn't hit any of them.
"Surf's up, beach boy, but not for you. You'll be hanging ten downtown." -Joe Friday
"Well, Emil...I guess it's just you and me...and...your balls and this drawer." -Pep
"Kill the good! Kill the good! Kill the good! Kill the good!" - P.A.G.A.N. (People Against Goodness and Normalcy, aka the bad guys)
Connie Swail's house (shown above) was used as Ray Peterson's home in The'Burbs (1989). It was later used as Susan Mayer's house in the television series Desperate Housewives (2004). (IMDB)
"Now, if you'll both excuse me. I'm afraid the second-highest duty calls." -Reverend Whirley
This is a poop joke...right?
It is stated that one of the Bait Mate April's favorite movies is The Sound of Music (1965), which featured Christopher Plummer (Reverend Whirley). (IMDB)
"Granny, have you ever eaten a chili dog off the back of a motorcycle?" -Pep
"Reverend, you have balls as big as church bells." -Jerry Caesar
The photograph of Captain Gannon's wife behind his desk is the same photograph as Colonel Potter's wife in M*A*S*H (1972). Both parts were played by Harry Morgan. (IMDB) "You know, in spite of every logical instinct I've ever had in my life, I consider you a friend, a real friend." -Pep
This movie was the second time Tom Hanks and Dabney Coleman worked together. The first time was The Man With One Red Shoe (1985). (IMDB)
"Muzz, you weren't even born with the sense God gave the common dog. Don't you know that's my partner?" -Joe Friday
"Just close your eyes and think of Christmas." -Joe Friday
The Recipe Just the Facts, Tofu Ham
To veganize this recipe, I had to mashup an Isa Chandra Moskowitz recipe with the Claud Mann recipe. If you would like to make the inspirational Sweet and Smoky Glazed Tofu Ham, you can find it here or pick up The Superfun Times Vegan Holiday Cookbook at your local bookstore. Actually, you should pick up three copies, one for travelling with, one to keep in your kitchen, and one for paging through while you're in the bathroom. It's a good read and has lots of pictures, but I shouldn't have to explain myself.
Ingredients:
1 12 oz. block of tofu
For the marinade:
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup tamari or soy sauce
1/4 cup pure maple syrup
6 oz. stout beer (for help finding vegan stout try here or here)
2 tbsp liquid smoke
1/4 packed brown sugar
2 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp onion powder
1 tsp smoked paprika
For the tofu ham:
1/2 cup of each: chopped onion, carrots, and celery
6 oz. stout beer
1 tsp sage
1 orange, thinly sliced
Whole cloves (a bunch of them)
For the glaze:
3 tbsp orange or apricot marmalade
1/2 cup marsala or sherry
1 tbsp dry mustard
6 tbsp pure maple syrup
The will to serve (hot) and to protect (your reputation in the kitchen)
1. In a shallow dish or gallon size zipper bag, whisk together all the marinade ingredients. Place the block of tofu in the marinade, turn to coat, and marinade in the refrigerator for at least 4 hour, and up to overnight.
2. Preheat the oven to 375ºF.
3. Toss the vegetable and sage around in the beer. (This kind of makes no sense, but I wanted an even coating of sage on the veggies.)
4. In the square pan I set aside for brownies and mac-n-cheese (9x9?), arrange the orange slices in an even layer. Place the marinated tofu in the center.
5. Lightly score the top of the tofu with a sharp knife in a latticework design, about 1/4 inch deep. Press the whole cloves into the intersections of the cuts.
6. Add the vegetables around the sides of the tofu and drizzle some of the leftover marinade over everything.
7. Bake for an hour.
8. Mix together the Marsala, marmalade, dry mustard, and maple syrup.
9. After the tofu has baked for 1 hour, brush the Marsala mixture over the surface of the tofu. Bake an additional 30 minutes, basting the tofu with the Marsala mixture every 5 minutes.
10. Allow the tofu to cool for about 5 minutes before slicing to serve.
10. You've finished your work, what do you see...just a tofu ham?... Well, that's not all I see. Mister--I see the good people of this city lined up with arms akimbo waiting to try an honest piece of bean curd grown by thousands of proud soy farmers working hard to produce a leaner, more healthful soy product. Tara's review: "It was delish. Good texture, opposite of bland...I think if I were to change anything, it would be less citrus." Happy VeganMoFo!
Happy October 1st, everyone! Monica and I are gnawing the air with excitement about VeganMoFo 2017. We got the opportunity to traipse through London, Paris, and Dublin last month and have glorious European food porn to share; here's a snap of our lunch at Vx all-vegan restaurant and shop in King's Cross:
You're staring at Vx Burgers with sides of chips. The wheat burger patty, spicy ketchup, and cheese were yum-o. The chips were a touch undercooked and could have greatly benefited from some of that spicy ketchup (and perhaps a dab of vegan mayo). But an American loser can't be a chooser.
In addition to posting more Euro-meals, I'll be brewing some "flavors of autumn" lattes (Will the infamous PSL get included? Warning: Yes.), whipping up a few of Jason Wyrick's Vegan Tacos, and crafting a spine-tingling Halloween dessert.
Monica will dive in shortly with her VeganMoFo dreams and schemes. Let's rock!
A safe place for lovers of movies and pun-based food recipes with a fondness for TBS's Dinner and A Movie. Oh yeah, and all the classic Dinner and A Movie recipes will be veganized.
From 1995 to 2011, TBS provided recipes to compliment the movies they aired on a show hosted by Paul Gilmartin, Claud Mann (the chef), and what AV Club calls "a succession of female hosts" Annabelle Gurwitch being my favorite.
With two cookbooks and the vast internet, I plan on veganizing every Dinner and a Movie recipe I can get my hands on because this show deserves to live on in my cold dark vegan heart.
The Movie
Heathers (1989)
Leonard Maltin Review: **1/2 D: Michael Lehmann. Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, Shannen Doherty, Lisanne Falk, Kim Walker, Penelope Milford, Glenn Shadix, Lance Fenton. Sharp, somewhat smug satire of high school social strata, with Ryder in a terrific performance as a girl who hangs out with the school's bitch-queens but doesn't feel quite comfortable about their reign of terror. Outrageous black humor works at first, but isn't sustained; uneven script goes far astray. Slater is commanding in his Jack Nicholson-esque performance. Feature debut for director Lehmann and writer Daniel Waters, with many virtues as well as flaws. [R]
Spoiler Alert: There may be spoilers peppered though the movie portion of this post, consider yourself warned.
The movie that answers the age old question: Are we going to prom or to hell?
Corn nuts...
High school was hard for most of us, but for Veronica, her "teen angst bullshit has a body count." (That sounds like the beginning to the trailer, right?) I remember thinking people in high school talked the way they did in this movie. Needless to say, I was very disappointed. (Side note: Dawson's Creek came out when I was in high school and none of my friends used half as many SAT words. That was very disappointing as well. I still want to marry Pacey, though.) "...bulimia is so '87"
This movie has a special place in my heart (which is why I started with it) because it validated my disdain for the popular crowd and at the time I first saw it I wanted to be Winona Ryder. She was fresh off of Beetlejuice playing strip croquet with a pre-baboon heart Christian Slater. What's not to love? The movie is visually stunning as well. All the Heathers are color coded, presumably not to mix them up, but the use of color definitely adds to the story. First, we have Heather Chandler (Kim Walker) in red (power color), the Regina George of the group. Then there is Heather Duke (Shannen Doherty) in green... with jealously? which is established during the croquet game at the beginning of the movie and later when she gains possession of the red scrunchie. Heather McNamara (Lisanne Falk) in yellow, the weakest in the group, only because she's the realest person in the group who has real people feelings when people around her start dying. Veronica (Winona Ryder) wears lots of blacks and blues and she happens to be the one to introduce all the death and mayhem that follows.
"I gotta motor"
Both the Veronica and J.D. character have weird relationships with their fathers. Veronica's dad will throw out a rhetorical question as to why he does something and Veronica responds with, "...because you're an idiot." J.D. and his father, however, have this banter where they switch roles and J.D. refers to his dad as son. I'm struggling right now to think of a teen movie where the parent is shown as anything other than to create a conflict or completely pointless.
"...that the answers can be found in the MTV video games."
Something I just recently noticed is that Veronica uses a monocle throughout the movie and they never call attention to it. I need to get myself a monocle.
Another observation is Heather Chandler's coffee table contains a Cliffs Notes for The Bell Jar and Info Magazine with the cover article being "The Fall of the American Teen" which helps J.D. concocted the suicide idea.
My favorite character, hands down, is Martha 'Dumptruck' Dunnstock with her Big Fun t-shirt and her plans to rent some new releases and pop some popcorn with Veronica on prom night. That would have made a great spin off or sequel.
My favorite scene is the Heather Duke funeral-dream sequence where everyone is wearing 3-D glasses and white gowns. This just help to prove that the 80's were superior in every way.
More quotes I love: "Our love is God. Let's go get a slushie." - J.D. "Chaos is what killed the dinosaur, darling." - J.D.
"I don't patronize bunny rabbits." - Veronica's Dad "If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being you would be a game show host." - Veronica
Trivia:
Heathers was filmed in 32 days in July and August of 1988.
The Veronica role was originally intended for Jennifer Connelly, who turned it down.
Justine Bateman was also considered for the lead.
Brad Pitt auditioned for the role of J.D. but was considered "too nice." Thelma and Louise era Brad Pitt... he was too nice. Actually, Ocean 1000 era Brad Pitt still too nice.
Westerberg High was named after Paul Westerberg from The Replacements, Winona's favorite band at the time.
Ich Luge is German for "I'm Lying" - the bullet J.D. tells Veronica they are using for Kurt and Ram.
Ram - if you are a fan of the movie Summer School, he also plays a jock in that movie. The actor's name is Patrick Labyorteaux.
Something I learned from listening to the podcast Sweet Teen Club, the version of Que Sera, Sera in the movie is not the Doris Day version because she wouldn't let her vocals be used on any project that used profanity.
Soon there will be a TV series on TVLand based on Heathers. (Here's an article on Jezebel which is where I get all my news.)
The Recipe
Heathers 'Killer Pasta w/ Oregano'
(for original recipe click here)
For Pasta:
(I used the pasta recipe from Vegan Dad here)
2 cups flour (1 cup all purpose and 1 cup semolina)
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp fresh oregano, finely chopped
about 1/2 cup water
1 tbsp olive oil (optional)
For Sauce:
1 yellow onion, diced
1 lb ripe plum tomatoes
4 cloves garlic
1 tbsp tomato paste
1/3 cup dry red wine
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 fist full of fresh oregano and basil (optional)
1 copy of Moby Dick
Mineral Water
Big Red Scrunchie
(The original recipe had cheese in the sauce, I took it out, get over it. Just add extra scrunchies.)
I advise following the Vegan Dad recipe for the pasta as I am a fresh pasta novice and used a humorously tiny rolling pin to roll out my pasta which took forever. I added the fresh oregano when combining the flours and salt.
The drying the pasta on the kitchen cabinet doors trick courtesy of the Vegan Dad blog.
Preheat over to 350F.
Combine the red wine, olive oil and tomato paste.
(My first attempt at this recipe I forgot to pick up wine and used balsamic vinegar instead. Turned out pretty good.)
Cut the tomatoes in half and arrange on a cookie sheet cut side up.
Drizzle the wine mixture over the tomatoes then top with the diced onions, garlic, salt and pepper. Bake for 30 minutes.
Post oven photo.
Put everything on the pan into the blender, minus the parchment paper. (What did we do before parchment paper?) When the sauce looks nice and smooth, add a fistful of oregano and/or basil and give it a few quick pulses to just roughly chop the herbs up.
And there you have it Veronica's favorite dinner Spaghetti with lots of oregano. Can you tell which one is from the movie and which one I made? Probably.
The next movie will be announce shortly. I was going to do The 'Burbs, but Netflix rudely removed it from streaming.
The posts that I had once hoped would be weekly that I now struggle to keep bi-annual. Check out this list of crap I found on the internet.
Are Meatless Mondays part of the liberal agenda? Probably. Also, if you have some time to kill search "liberal agenda" on the Fox News website. I just learned a bunch about feminism and I am outraged. (Note: Meatless Mondays are not "brainwashing" your kids. You do not need to eat meat at every meal every day to be healthly. Quite the opposite. New Flash! Vegetables are actually good for you. Who's up for Vegan Vednesdays!!!!!)
Speaking of veganpizzafuckyeah.tumblr.com, they have coupons for Beyond Meat. Boosh!
Even after NYC is voted the most vegan-friendly city in the nation with vegetable skyline and all, we are in danger of losing Angelica Kitchen, who has been serving vegetarian food in the East Village since 1976. Stop what you're doing and go eat at Angelica's!!!
Do you like plants? How about Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy? Would you like to text Groot? Because you can. (via CBR) I wonder if he's on twitter. #obviously
Ways to make your tofu taste more like meat. #veganvednesdays (via The Daily Meal)
Semi-regular posts from a blog that some people might say teased a taco crawl post and then disappeared for almost a year. More on that taco crawl later.
Do you know how to eat sushi? This video is pretty interesting if you ignore all the fish stuff. (via kottke)
Dunkin' Donuts is introducing almond milk and that's not all! If you tweet or instagram with #almonDDmilk, you are entered to win $100 or $500 gift cards. Read more here. #almonDDmilk #wherearemyvegandonuts #veganmunchkinswouldbecooltoo (via The Daily Meal)
12 daily struggles only a vegan will understand. This is a good list. Although, number #8 has never happened to me. I guess my friends aren't monsters. Apparently #veganprobs is a thing. #hashtagthat #forreal #thisisnotgettingold
In animal rights news, Unilever is pledging money to research ending the horrible practice of the egg production industry of grinding up little male chick because they don't produce eggs. Although I'm glad that they are trying to end the inhumane disposal of fluffy little baby chicks, I'm troubled by the thought of people using this to feel better about eating eggs. Even outside of the hatchery, there are plenty of problems with the egg industry. Why don't they use their money to research egg substitutions? (via The Daily Meal)
Cocktail of the Week: This thing. I'm not sure what it's called. It's an evening worth of drinks in one glass.
What's in there? It's a fruity frozen margarita, an extra shot of tequila, and an inverted bottle of Corona. I can feel my mom shaking her head as I type this.
Email that crap out of us @ monicatara[at]gmail.com. Or just comment here! We love you and we want feedback and cocktail ideas!
This recipe, from the hilarious, health-conscious, delicious, and profane Thug Kitchen (First cookbook drops Fall 2014! Mark your calendars....) turned out some tasty burgers, my friends.
Let's relive and reflect, shall we?
The lineup of YUM-O ingredients.
I love recipes that give me an opportunity to use my appliances; they make me feel like a culinary veteran who got her money's worth. I unearthed the food processor, busted out the spinach/chopped onion/ liquid smoke/smoked paprika/etc., and commenced to hustlin'.
This doesn't look particularly appetizing right after pulsing, but it tasted fantastic. Plus, as Thug Kitchen points out, you can experiment with herbs and spices and taste to your heart's content before cooking since there won't be any pesky E. coli lurking about; unless a poltergeist drags a raw chicken across your counter and you're too irresponsible to lay down some disinfectant.
Baked to golden brown goodness. No pan-frying for these fiber-rich MFers. The recipe gauges that you'll need about 20 minutes on each side if you're baking full-sized patties instead of sliders - I needed 28 or so.
This friggin' roll left something to be desired so kindly ignore it. There's that smoky, sumptuous patty topped with melted Daiya cheddar, pickles, and katt-supp.
Next time you're in the mood for a Boca burger, consider this instead! Simple, filling, nutritious, and lasts through the week (recipe makes 16 sliders/8 patties - or you can double the recipe and cover yourself for lunch AND dinner - whuuuut?!). By the way, these are perfect with sliced avocado.
