Saturday, September 20, 2008

Are You There, Michael Phelps? It's Me, Done-ness.

I've heard quite a bit regarding your 300-egg-n- cheese-sammich breakfasts. I've heard more than enough about you groping nubile bunnies at the Playboy mansion. So, now that I've paid my dues, can you go away? We all know that Milorad Cavic finished before you and the photo finish was tilted in your favor because you're American (aka a cheese-munching capitalist sofa jockey). We all know that your doofus grin is by no means going to grace the pages of US Magazine two years from now, unless you develop a drug habit or start dating Jessica "Fartin' Under the Sheets" Simpson. Why not throw in the sweaty, chlorine-scented towel while you're on top? Take your chiseled abs and recede into the night, leaving extra space for LoRo and Tiffany Pollard. Also, keep in mind that 140,000,000 calories a day is a touch unwise even for an Olympian.


  1. i'm totally over michael phelps as well. he's gotten quite annoying.

  2. hum haters much? i mean really your obviously too dumb to understand the history hes made...and maybe you should be bitchin at the media b/c its not like he plasterd his own face evreywhere and apparently since hes the fastest and most fit swimmer in the world theres nothing wrong with his diet.....and iam no "all things michael phelps" i just get pissed when people try to down size someones amazing talent and accomplishments...