Saturday, September 14, 2013

Williamsburg Taco Crawl Kick Off

Today, we will be walking around Williamsburg eating tacos, drinking cocktails and enjoying this glorious almost fall weather.
Seitan Taco from Endless Summer Truck circa 2012
Follow us on Twitter for live photo updates @blog_scuse_me and stay tuned for more VeganMoFo taco reviews.


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I Made Thug Kitchen's Smoky Bean and Spinach Burgers!


Hot damn I loved Colecovision as a child.
This recipe, from the hilarious, health-conscious, delicious, and profane Thug Kitchen (First cookbook drops Fall 2014! Mark your calendars....) turned out some tasty burgers, my friends.
Let's relive and reflect, shall we?
The lineup of YUM-O ingredients.
I love recipes that give me an opportunity to use my appliances; they make me feel like a culinary veteran who got her money's worth. I unearthed the food processor, busted out the spinach/chopped onion/ liquid smoke/smoked paprika/etc., and commenced to hustlin'.
This doesn't look particularly appetizing right after pulsing, but it tasted fantastic. Plus, as Thug Kitchen points out, you can experiment with herbs and spices and taste to your heart's content before cooking since there won't be any pesky E. coli lurking about; unless a poltergeist drags a raw chicken across your counter and you're too irresponsible to lay down some disinfectant.
Baked to golden brown goodness. No pan-frying for these fiber-rich MFers. The recipe gauges that you'll need about 20 minutes on each side if you're baking full-sized patties instead of sliders - I needed 28 or so.
This friggin' roll left something to be desired so kindly ignore it. There's that smoky, sumptuous patty topped with melted Daiya cheddar, pickles, and katt-supp.  
Next time you're in the mood for a Boca burger, consider this instead!  Simple, filling, nutritious, and lasts through the week (recipe makes 16 sliders/8 patties - or you can double the recipe and cover yourself for lunch AND dinner - whuuuut?!).  By the way, these are perfect with sliced avocado.


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Happy International Day of Kale!

It's September 3rd, 2013, the First Annual International Day of Kale.  Enjoy this video from JL Goes Vegan showing how to make massaged kale with avocado.  

Kale - fresh from the garden

With kale and yellow tomatoes straight from the garden, I made the spring kale salad with sweet mustard miso dressing from Blissful Bites which can also be found here.  The dressing is simple with lemon (juice and zest), miso, stoneground mustard, maple syrup, nutritional yeast, salt, pepper, and water.  The miso, mustard, syrup, and nut. yeast are all equal parts so it's an easy recipe to throw together on the fly.  With nutritional yeast and kale, you really can't go wrong.

Make everyday a kale day!


Monday, May 27, 2013

Horrors of YouTube: The Mangler

Sometimes YouTube provides when Netflix cannot. I found some slimy horror movies that aren't available on Netflix in either streaming or disc form, one of which is Tobe Hooper's 1995 pancake of shit The Mangler, starring scare icons Robert Englund and Ted Levine. It also stars Vanessa Pike, who plays a girl approaching her sixteenth birthday but looks forty.

She'll be fine.

The Mangler is based on the Stephen King short story of the same name, which appeared in his awesome 1978 Night Shift collection. This movie is not awesome. This movie is full of half-assed special effects; leaden dialogue that doesn't resemble any human conversation I've had or heard to date (if that sounds intriguing to you, save your energy; it's the result of horrible construction rather than weirdness); women who are useless at everything except dying, crying, and screaming; and embarrassing "old man" facial prosthetics.

Handguns work on possessed laundry machines made of solid iron. It's science. 

The plot unravels before our blank stares and leaves us with a bunch of unanswered questions and the urge to sever our internet connections.  Ted Levine is John Hunton, a surly detective who hates his job and is haunted by his reponsibility for the car wreck that killed his wife. Hunton investigates some nasty occurrences at the Blue Ribbon laundry, which involve the titular "character": a hulking, toothy folding machine that works fine on hospital bedsheets but not so well on shrill employee Mrs. Frawley, who makes the brilliant decision to stick her fingers into the mouth of the machine to retrieve an antacid tablet.  She ends up looking like the melted and blood-drenched Chucky doll from the end of Child's Play 2, and things roll downhill from there as Hunton and his occult-studying brother-in-law Mark beat up a murderous refigerator, ask a woman if she's a virgin with no explanation as to why this is relevant (the Mangler enjoys a good virgin sacrifice), and throw a crucifix and holy water at the demonic Mangler while yelling the Lord's Prayer.  The movie is as deadly as the Mangler in its desire to be taken seriously but is dull and insulting to the intelligence instead of uninentionally funny, which makes the whole mess a total waste. Robert Englund's Bill Gartley, the nasty laundry owner who serves as part of a conspiratorial deal with the Devil, doesn't even get any flinch-inducing wisecracks. Unless you want to feel what could have been a perfectly good hour and forty-six minutes mangled to death, avoid this movie.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Cocktails and Dinosaurs: News and Libations for the Weekend of May 17, 2013

Semi-regular posts made to remind you this blog still exists.  I'm serious.  We're still here.

(via EV Grieve via Bobby Williams)
  • The entire new season of Arrested Development finally premieres on Netflix May 26th.  Want to know the moment it's added to Netflix?  Just text ANN to 619-EGG-VEAL.  I'm not kidding.

    In ANNticpation of the new season, the Bluth Banana Stand has been making the rounds to Big Britain, New York, and pretty soon LA.  Check out some pictures from the Nevernude meet up at the Big Yellow Joint yesterday in Times Square (Buzzfeed).

    Throwing a Arrested Development Season 4 viewing party?  Need food ideas?  There are literally dozens of websites talking about this.  Pinterest!  HuffPo.  Food Republic.  BluthFamilyReunion.

    Oh yeah!  Watch the Trailer for Season 4 while you're waiting!
  • Speaking of great shows coming back, according to Entertainment Weekly, the IT Crowd is coming back for a 40-minute finale special!!!!!  AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

    Between The IT Crowd, Arrested Development, and Veronica Mars all coming back, I'm in constant state of jubilation and tears (of joy, of course).
  • Marshmallow, Marshmallow.

    New York cops, firefighters, &c refer to hipsters as marshmallows because they're soft and white.  Sure, there are other forms of hate speech we should be addressing, but it's a funny video.  I am now official obsessed with John Roberts (aka Linda Belcher from Bob's Burgers) YouTube channel.
  • Here's a great article on why we should care more about slut-shaming.  Read it!! (Jezebel)
  • The X-Men Made Me A Feminist.  Hell yeah!!!!
  • Stay tuned to our tumblr page because we will be posting awesome vegan food and beverage photos all weekend!!!!!!!

Cocktail of the Week:  Aviation

The Aviation is made with gin, lemon juice, maraschino liqueur, and creme de violette served straight up with a cherry.  These are so delicious, I wish every bar made them.

Email that crap out of us @ monicatara[at]  Or just comment here!  We love you and we want feedback and cocktail ideas!

Friday, March 15, 2013

MTV Blows

Music Television, which needs to change its name to TeenDumpNet before I smack the sandwich out of its hands, used to show Beavis and Butthead, Daria, Bjork videos, and things like this:

Now its schedule is comprised almost solely of things like this - "reality" shows that find just the right balance of depressing and boring:

I realize that we're living in a different era now, where most of MTV's target demographic is too busy scrolling angrily through the twelve flirtatious comments on their exes'  Facebook selfies to pay attention to smart, off-kilter characters and writing. Case in point, Beavis and Butthead came back with a vengeance (still funny!) but receded into the ether at some point, leaving me confused and scared. Warren the Ape debuted to an undeserved collective yawn and died a fiery death after one season.  This year, other than announcing a third season of Awkward, there are zero attempts on MTV's part to retain any shred of dignity it once had.

And it pisses me off for being so phony.  It often has no patience for "talking head" scenes, like Bravo does (but Bravo is for slow, rickety oldsters who like their episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills punctuated by ads for Lipitor and Activia), so they toss kids bland scripts and make them do stiff voice-overs.  Things along the lines of:

"I never thought that having a child would be so difficult."


"It really has made me think about what's important in life.  But I really don't know if I want to give up my dreams of being a famous model."

*sound of me falling onto glass coffee table*

I also noticed that a lot of MTV's "fights" now involve one angry (and by "angry" I mean "pretty annoyed" - you have to take the dregs of the passion department in this neighborhood) kid whining to another kid, who is staring slack-jawed into the middle distance as they "process" the angry kid's points. The rebuttal is usually something like, "Okay, well, like, that's the way things are gonna have to be."  With friends like these, who needs Lunesta?

Last night I watched an episode of True Life, which I don't believe MTV hires actors for but which I'm certain coaches and stages the shit out of the proceedings until you feel like you're watching really bad TeenNick (The Real World is in this camp, and even has shameless product placement; Sun Drop pullover hoodie, anyone?).  This particular episode enraged me on a personal level: In I Have Orthorexia, Andrew makes a "conscious effort not to poison [his] body" by going vegan. Granted, he cares nothing about animals and is vegan strictly for health reasons, but motivations aside, his absolute ignorance about his chosen lifestyle is inexcusable. In this age of Google-a-bob and Searchy McHotJeeves and such, this jackass's veganism apparently amounts to steamed vegetables, plain white rice, and water. His body becomes frail and his complexion becomes volatile. He and the people around him (including MTV's producers) send this clear message: Veganism is the product of an obsessive disorder; it leaves you feeling imprisoned by your limitations; it damages your physical health and appearance; if people just woke up and ate organic grass-fed meat that came from "humane slaughterhouses, where they're really nice to the animals" (WHAT, ANDREW?) they'd be robust and jubilant instead of a total buzzkill.

Andrew eventually eats a local, "natural" hamburger at his friend's house, and the moment is filmed as if he's getting a long-awaited "remission" stamp at Sloan-Kettering. Note that he gets the ground beef from a farmer who explains that the stress level of a cow affects the taste of the meat. That's a  shame, since getting your trachea ripped out while you're still alive usually causes a small to moderate amount of stress.

I should compose a sternly worded letter to MTV and demand that it rerun Jimmy the Cab Driver segments and the alternative/electronica/Return of the Rock morning video bursts I watched while sipping coffee through my teens and early twenties. Until I get an answer, I guess I'll move on to True Life: I'm a Bridesmaid. 
There's always Netflix....

Cocktails and Dinosaurs: News and Libations for the Weekend of March 15, 2013

Semi weekly posts you waited nearly half a year to come back.  Maybe this time you'll leave comments!

Tom Hardy Huddling with His Puppy

According to ecorazzi, Tom Hardy is in New York City shooting, Animal Rescue.  Can this movie please just be 120 minutes of Tom Hardy snuggling a pit bull puppy?  Actually, the perfect movie would be him snuggling a pit bull puppy, then drunk Nick Nolte, then back to the pit bull puppy.

  • While we're on the topic of dog actors, Lizzy, an adorable Corgi pouch, got fired from The Audience, a play she was starring in with Dame Helen Mirren*.  Lizzy apparently refused to "obey" Dame Mirren's commands.  Sources say Mirren took issue with Lizzy improvising during scripted scene. (via The Telegraph)
    *Helen Mirren, best known for her portrayal as Mrs. Tingle in Teaching Mrs. Tingle.  

Obligatory Corgi Video
(Special Thanks to Jezebel)

  • Veronica Mars... wait for it... THE MOVIE!!!!  Holy Shit!  I never thought this day would come.  They have a Kickstarter and a video that makes me want to watch the entire series right now (which I am watching while blogging).  Oh yeah and they're going to start filming this summer.  I heard a rumor** that if they can collect $4 mil, Ken Marino is a definite!  Can you live in a Veronica Mars world without Ken Marino?  Neither can I!!!
    **When I say rumor, that means I made that up, but the internet can pressure Ken Marino if he's not already involved!  We can make this happen!!
  • Are there visions of Armageddon 2:  Apocalyptic Boogaloo break dancing in my head or is that just Steve Tyler talking about writing a song with Taylor Swift? (via jezebel)
  • Have you ever wondered why Die Hard with a Vengeance broke the Christmas theme in Die Hard?  It almost doesn't feel like a Die Hard movie at all to be honest except for the brother of Hans Gruber seeking revenge on McClane part.  Is it possible that the rumors about Die Hard 3 starting out as Lethal Weapon 4 are true?  Close... but if you want to know the truth read on.  (via
  • Do you know about JASH yet?  I mean you should know about JASH by now, it's the future of the internet, it's the new internet, it's going to make everyone whose reality is partially based in online life a lot better quality-wise.  Let's all send thank you letters to Sarah Silverman, Michael Cera, Tim & Eric, and Reggie Watt.  When I say thank you letters, I mean snail mail on personalize stationary with cute stickers on the envelope because these people care about us.  The Youtube we knew is gone, embrace JASH! (via The Daily What)
  • Remember the Mark McGrath and Friends Cruise!  Essentially every band that didn't survive the 90's... right? There might be a couple more.  So that got cancelled and right now I am laughing hysterically at Mark McGrath's tweet about "that poop cruise" doing them no favors. (via BrooklynVegan)
  • Justin Timberlake sung and danced his way into the hearts of every vegan with one skit on Saturday Night Live:

Cocktail of the Week:  Hot Toddy

There are too many recipes for a hot toddy on the interwebs.  The essentials are whiskey, hot water, honey (aka agave nectar or bee-free honee), and lemon.  Wild cards include tea, cloves, cinnamon sticks, etc.  When it comes to cocktails, just add what you like.  If you enjoy it, that's all that matters.  My recipe above included agave nectar, lemon juice, whiskey, a lemon slice with whole cloves, and hot water.

Email that crap out of us @ monicatara[at]  Or just comment here!  We love you and we want feedback and cocktail ideas!