Thursday, May 19, 2011

It's Judgment Day... again

If things don't really pan out with this whole rapture thing, I am seriously thinking of signing up for a spin class.less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply

If you are not already aware, tomorrow is the Rapture, but don't sweat because the earth won't be completely destroyed until five months later. That's plenty of time to finish your novel, learn how to knit, and read up on old blog 'scuse me? posts.

So let me explain to everyone that doesn't care. Harold Camping, the president of Family Radio, determined with an elegant mathematical theorem from years of studying the bible that Judgment Day will be May 21, 2011 using a Bible-based numerology. It's a fact! (I'm pretty sure a nun told me oncw that numerology was the work of Satan, but I think she would be cool with someone using it to scare people into Christianity.)

Camping had previously predicted Judgment Day to be in September of 1994, coincidentally the year pop sensation Justin Bieber was born...

I'm not saying that arbitrarily taking numbers from the bible isn't a 100% self-righteous science, but I don't want to end up like a member of heaven's gate with a new pair of Nike's and no spaceship. I mean, I already paid an atheist to watch my dog if I'm saved.

Happy Rapture! Here's Blondie rapping:

1 comment:

  1. "And he shoots you dead, and he eats your head!"