...with disturbing results. For reasons that most likely all trail back to the fact that KO(backwards friggin R)N has not released any decent original material since I sat in a classroom watching a filmstrip about lab safety, the man I will from now on refer to as Sweet Johnny D has decided to add Lil Wayne's
Got Money to his roster of
stolen goods. The song is somewhat delightful, a touch addictive, like heroin that's been left in the sun too long and has a green tinge to it, but come on Sweet Johnny D - the squiggly voice device? Is this your equivalent of a
teddy bear t-shirt? Are you shooting for irony, or do you dream of the day when 16-year-old girls who smell of bubble gum and pony stickers call Z100 begging for your dulcet tones?
I know this much is true - if I ever hear SJD singing
(Everything I Do) I Do It For You while dressed as a Musketeer and running his voice through Peter Frampton's guitar processor, I will hire Lil Wayne to fracture my sternum with his nosebleed-inducing guitar riffs and a fine, fine set of brass knuckles.
Actually, rumor has it that Bryan Adams has recently recorded a cloying, gently Canadian version of
Lollipop. I don't know how you do it, Lil Wayne - enticing the musical masses to mimic you in a way that will never come close to your squeaky-voiced, heavily tattooed, guitar-killing splendor.
