Saturday, July 23, 2011

Hormonal Bitch? Lap Up Some Cow Torture

The New York Times ran an article on July 21st announcing the end of the "Got Milk for your PMS-ing Whore of a Girlfriend/Wife?" ads that drew the ire of sexism-sensitive types.


The ads perpetuate the assumption of our cock-controlled society that women are the only ones to experience hormonal upheaval that makes life hell for their significant others. Okay. Where are the ads with the haggard-looking career woman frowning over the caption, "I'm sorry I forgot to DVR the Jets game. You're right, I'm totally a stupid c-word. How 'bout an ice cold Miller?"

To ice the cake, these are effing "Got Milk?" ads. The ads that for 18 years have shown a variety of celebrities staring with bedroom eyes after their upper lips have been smeared with the fluid produced after cows are raped by machines. Health! Fun! Despite numerous contradictory reports urging women to focus on plant-based, animal-friendly, anti-carcinogenic treats rather than fat-pumped dairy products to mitigate the symptoms of PMS, Goodby, Silverstein, and Partners decided to launch this misogynistic series of ads. After the shut-down, Goodby made sure to state to the press that he thinks the campaign has "served its purpose" and that a similar ovary-hating campaign that his firm launched in 2005 was allowed to survive because "it was a different world in 2005". 'Tis true.

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