The Winds of Shit in a Low Pressure Shit System

...or was it a shit storm? I don't remember our exact team name at New York Magazine's Indie Rock Trivia Night last week but you get the gist. Somehow we did not win for most creative team and ended up losing to the Dead Ted Kennedys. First off, I demand a recount. Not even Zach Galifianakis, the host of the event, agreed with this decision, probably because he saw our Round 4 card where we drew hearts around his picture with an arrow to it saying "That's So Raven". Secondly, it's called "most creative" not "most topical and offensive".

I believe that's enough ranting. Now I'll just try not to turn this into a love letter to Zach Galifianakis.

The night started out with some classic Zach. He even did the "LOOK here come the Choo-Choo" joke that makes me laugh hysterically every time it pops into my head while I'm waiting for a train. There were four rounds of trivia. I didn't realize they had categories until the second round which was 90's Trivia followed by 70's & 80's Trivia. The fourth round they changed things up with Kanye or Nay which took me back to a game my family used to play on long road trip called Goulet or Nay. They basically have same rules. In our game, someone would say a line or so of lyrics to a song and you would shout out Goulet, if it was a song Robert Goulet did, or Nay, if not. Kanye or Nay worked the same way except you wrote the answers down on the card. It's a little less fun that way. In between trivia rounds they showed this interview with my other crush, Michael Showalter.

After the intense trivia session, Les Savy Fav took the stage and put on an incredible show. Tim Harrington had enough costume changes to make Vanna White jealous. Zach even joined them on stage during one of their songs which was the highlight of the night for me.

Tim & Zach

Of the 75 or so pictures I took that night, about 70 of them are just of Zach. I couldn't help myself.

I believe the winners of the Indie Rock Trivia are behind Zach in this one.

Check out Stereogum if you'd like to read a review with less ranting and better pictures. Plus, you can see all the Les Savy Fav costume changes.



Here's a crappy video I took of some hipsters dancing.

Open Letter To David Cross

Dear Mr. Cross,

When we heard your velvety voice demanding pills from Meatwad, we knew that you were a supreme being placed on earth to make us all feel like doucheschnozzers. If only we could titter wickedly with you while sipping coffee and wearing cutoff jeans. Imagine the three of us skipping down the street arms linked singing "chicken pot chicken pot chicken pot pie", that is a dream that we've shared since swooning over slow Donny in the late 90's. Even roles that you may have regretted in hindsight, like that smarmy chipmunk abusing manager in a movie that will remain nameless, we worship your skill and your hot glasses. Only you could make wheelchair break dancing look effortless with that certain I don't know what that steals the scene.

We hope that the purpose of this letter is clear. Blog 'scuse me? would like to go on a date with you. Time, date and place are totally up to you. We're not picky when it comes to basking in the glow of your presence. And just as an aside, we taught Amber Tamblyn how to make out. Contact us at monicatara@gmail.com. We'll be checking our email every 5 seconds while listening to Creed and crying gently.


Hugs n kisses,
Tara and Monica

Snippets of Hell: Old-School PSAs

I'm sure I'm not the only person who finds this bit from the mid-80s creepy and unecessary. Yes, Pee Wee Herman has always been an idol of mine, but so has Steve Urkel, and I would back away slowly if he was gravely advising me not to hit the pipe.





When not one-upping Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny enjoyed pointing out to children that the appliances in their kitchens would murder them if they only got close enough.




Finally, the worst one of all - a 90s spot that gave me a grammar-school nervous breakdown that was never topped, not even by the Muppets. Note that when I first saw this I was alone in a dark basement.

Boston and Awesome Rhyme, Sort Of

So last weekend's trip to Boston was pretty sweet, schizophrenic weather aside. Monica booked us a room at the Newbury Guest House, where we drank sake and watched Spongebob Squarepants.

Gotta love that "lived-in" look.
The window wouldn't open, which worked to our advantage because I get Supergirl Syndrome after five Bloody Marys and three-quarters of a bag of Lay's.

Saturday morning was brunchtime at the OtherSide Cafe - nibbles included toast, scrambled tofu, vegan sausage, and hash browns. Why didn't they put ketchup on our table?
After brunch we ambled to the park for some swan stalking. This shot took patience because the guy just wouldn't stop hiding his face. How dare you groom while I'm trying to create apartment decor!

Sadly, the tables were turned when we were hunted by two highly sassy squirrels. This sassiness probably has something to do with the fact that people don't know how to behave responsibly around animals.
Caught in a swan frenzy, we crossed the footbridge to the swan boats and took a ride across the lake for some long-distance scenery worship. We had the pleasure of sharing the boat with a group of high schoolers who were more interested in the duck crapping next to us than the landscape.
Remember the sake I mentioned earlier? Uh oh! Did someone say extra-dry??





After the sake and cartoons, we headed to Betty's Wok and Noodle Diner for noodly-veggie-saucey-type meals. Seated two tables away was an irate customer who ordered the Va-Va-Vegan and was served something that included chicken.

Businessmen and Bruleed Banana

Thanks to the Boston Vegan Association, we enjoyed a fabulous five course vegan meal at Upstairs on the Square in Boston's Harvard Square. We documented each course for your viewing pleasure. Unfortunately, we didn't capture the ambiance of this drippingly high class, eclectic restaurant and its patrons (one of whom could balance a dollar bill vertically on his head).

Roasted Summer Beets, Horseradish, & Wild Baby Arugula. (Not that I dislike traditionally prepared beets, but I was pleasantly surprised by the tangy, distinctly different sensation that the horseradish created. - Tara). Now that we've been made beet fanatics, we'll be paying a visit to Schrute Farms post haste.


Snap Pea Tempura. Just the right mix of savory and sweet, with a rich Asian kick. (The tempura was the perfect amount of crispiness and the accompanying sauce was so good I nearly licked the bowl. -Monica)


I don't remember what this dish was exactly, but it was delicious and had edible flowers or at least I hope they were. The temptation to eat the green leaf garnish was a little distracting because it was so large and vibrant.


Seasonal Vegetables in an Aromatic Broth with what seemed like a hint of lemongrass. (I've loved lemongrass since the introduction to it in the Bath and Body Works products. -Tara)


Sardinian Cous Cous with Foam lying beside a dollop of Awesome Sauce. The foam was a light comforting touch atop the hill of crisp seasoned vegetables.


Bruleed Banana with Strawberry Sorbet and Flakes of Toasted Coconut. The banana chunks were at their finest point of ripeness, and the coconut flakes were super crunchy, which was a nice contrast to the rest of the dish.

Damn Fine Cup of Coffee!! (The coffee transported me to the snow covered peaks of a small town in Washington. I drank a little too much and had to pass on coffee the next morning at brunch which NEVER happens. -Monica) We originally turned coffee down after dinner, but the waiter wisely misheard us and served away. He even returned later to freshen up our servings.

More details of our Boston Trip coming up this week. Stay Tuned.

POP WISDOM - It's All About the Bass

Climbing Seacrest's Top 40 as we speak is Lil Wayne's "Lollipop", which not only dusts off the term "lovely lady lumps", but tickles and delights the listener with its mischievous use of language. Take this verse, for example:

She say he so sweet make her wanna lick the wrapper
So I let her lick the rapper

If you're not chuckling and clapping at this pun right now, I hate you. (Puppies hate you too.)

Lil Wayne does not mince words when he sets his sights on a shawty. What sentient life form wouldn't melt in the eloquent heat of this request:

Told her to back it up like berp berp
And make that ass jump like jerp jerp








As if things weren't already intense enough, Lil Wayne just keeps at it! In words of heart-wrenching desire reminiscent of Edith Wharton's finest prose:

Drop that shit
Dra-drop it like its hot
Oooh
Drop it like its hot
Do do do it shawty
Don't stop






My fingers are crossed (so tightly that they're the color of a bruise and I'm losing consciousness a little bit) that this song makes it to Number 1 on America's Greatest Songs of All Time That Were Ever Written By Anyone on Earth. It's only fair, people. If Lil Wayne doesn't keep those fine asses moving in reverse, who will?


WHO WILL?

If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution.

Here's the winner of the April poll:



Check out Bring Back RAD and sign the petition to help get it released on DVD.

In what I believe to be a close second in the polls, the Corey Feldman dance in Dream A Little Dream 2. A viewing may be required, if not to rekindle your obsession with the two Coreys than just to remind yourself of the depth of their cinematic genius.

In other news:
We're on MYSPACE!!!!!
Check out our page and friend request us.