The last time we tried to do a blog-a-thon, It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was on and fun size candy bars were $5.00 US a bag. Since the blog has been a little quiet lately and a heatwave has blanketed the northeastern region of the United States, we decided to set the A/C to tundra and sip some cocktails while we narcissistically rant about the really lame t-shirt that Beiber wore yesterday.
So sit back and relax, while we continue to stab pop culture in the neck right before your very eyes.
Netflix released their new plans starting September: charging everyone more for the same service. Netflix, you're starting to sound like a cable company.
Emmy Nominations for 2011 are out and everybody is talking about who got snubbed like The Daily Beast, Amy Poehler, and many more (I'm sure - I haven't looked into it). (photo via fujiidom) I know I don't have TV, but Matt LeBlanc has a show? Has anyone seen this "Episodes" they speak of?
In other unrelated Nickelodeon news, if you didn't already know, Michelle Obama, our first lady, will make a guest appearance on iCarly. And if you didn't already know, I'm a HUGE fan of iCarly.
Could copyright laws someday be extended to monkeys, if they are responsible for the work in question? Monkeys copyrighting their own work? "It's a mad house! A mad house!"(kottke.org)
Need some vegan treats before the movie? Go to Dumbledore's Vegan Army for recipes like Chocolate Covered Pretzel "Wands", Dumbledore's Gay Cake, and Butterbeer Sandwich cookies. Yummo!
MY NEW "OF THE WEEK": Terrible Movie Idea of the Week: Freddy Vs Jason meets Total Recall and I'll call it... Jason's Total Nightmare: The Return of Quaid
Cocktail of the Week: White Russian I had this at Vegan Drinks in NYC right before Halloween. A wonderful blend of vodka, Kahlua, and soy or rice milk. Easy enough to make at home when you're watching The Big Lebowski or maybe The Big Lebowski 2. I find myself oddly attracted to Donny in the second one.
Semi weekly/monthly/whenever I feel like posts that contain the news I read during my lunch hour while being antisocial at work.
Hey look! It's the baby bullet infomercial, but it's 100x creepier. If you get a chance, watch the drunk grandma clips.
Right now, I'm really obsessed with these Christopher Boffoli photos of tiny figures on food. Remember in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (the book) when they sailed off to a new land and built little houses made out of sliced bread. That's kind of what this reminds me of.
This week's Cocktails & Dinosaurs is slightly different, but I barely do this so who cares. For you, this week, I shall prove that the Rapture did happen and that the end of the world is swiftly approaching this October:
Exhibit A: Michael Ian Black and Meghan McCain are co-authoring a book together. Apparently, the concept is "Chelsea Handler meets Hunter S. Thompson on a political cannonball run across America." - I don't think I read that right. Who's who and can I be Roger Moore?
Exhibit B: Fox News broke the story that Big Bird is indeed a bigot and Sesame Street is pushing a liberal gay agenda?!?! Where do I start! Is this why I'm vegan... SCANDAL! Sesame Street is turning kids into liberal gay vegans, news at 11.
Exhibit C: Sarah Palin and Donald Trump meet for "peperoni politics". (I knew he ate pizza with a knife and fork! What a ninny!) That's right, D.T., I called you a ninny, what are you going to do about it?
Exhibit D: Steve Martin is entrenched in an art forgery scandal. Am I the only one who's thinking about him as the Pink Panther right now?
Exhibit E: Dog + Balloons =Adorable Chaos Probably not a sign of the end of the world, but this will surely make you feel better about the whole thing.
Cocktail (and Brunch) of the Week: Paninis and Flirtinis! Let me introduce you to the flirtini; a wonderful blend of champagne (or sparkling wine if you're on a budget), vodka, and pineapple juice. Throw in a handful of fresh berries and it's a fantastic brunch cocktail.
If you are not already aware, tomorrow is the Rapture, but don't sweat because the earth won't be completely destroyed until five months later. That's plenty of time to finish your novel, learn how to knit, and read up on old blog 'scuse me? posts.
So let me explain to everyone that doesn't care. Harold Camping, the president of Family Radio, determined with an elegant mathematical theorem from years of studying the bible that Judgment Day will be May 21, 2011 using a Bible-based numerology. It's a fact! (I'm pretty sure a nun told me oncw that numerology was the work of Satan, but I think she would be cool with someone using it to scare people into Christianity.)
Camping had previously predicted Judgment Day to be in September of 1994, coincidentally the year pop sensation Justin Bieber was born...
I'm not saying that arbitrarily taking numbers from the bible isn't a 100% self-righteous science, but I don't want to end up like a member of heaven's gate with a new pair of Nike's and no spaceship. I mean, I already paid an atheist to watch my dog if I'm saved.
The new year started as a dark one for pop culture. The joy of Simon Cowell's uncontained hatred for talentless American Idol hopefuls was replaced with the horror of Steven Tyler's and J. Lo's treacly compassion. Photos of Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber canoodling on a yacht seared the world's collective retina. Sanctum opened.
Fortunately for us, each piece of this tsunami is best described as a seething, polyamorous, bipolar-manic hypodermic needle of fun. Chuck has "fire-breathing fists". He's a "Vatican assassin warlock". He's rallying his fans to join him in "marching up the steps of justice". It's very sad (i.e. fantastic) that the narcissistic ravings of the coke-addled star of Scary Movie 3 have, in mere days, proven said star leagues more compelling and inventive than 99.9999999999% of the country's best-selling authors.
The man who according to IMDB is nicknamed "Good Time Charlie" (I'm thinking "murderous clown" and "Vietnam War satire") is on fire in TwitterLand and the hose is nowhere in sight. Yesterday, he sent the following tweet to a certain music mogul (Warning: All factors considered, this tweet is so out-of-body-experience-freak-mazing you may want to get your Xanax prescription refilled before you read):
@iamdiddy Get dressed my man...Sending the driver..!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
And the hits just keep on comin'. Carlos is in the air, he's the salt of the sea, he's the flecks of earth on the hoof of a newborn foal. In what I'm calculating to be Quotable Quote Number 764, he warns that "they're not ready" for "guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life...". Nails?!? Now he's fraternizing with chain-smoking cartoon spiders from alternate dimensions in horrible Ralph Bakshi movies!! Commence to swooning.
Last (for the time being) but certainly not least, the Twitter bonanza that Charles Sheen created has earned him one million plus followers; he only follows twenty-three people, one of them Fred Durst.
I believe it was the immortal Barney Rubble who once remarked, "'Tis the season to be sharing, Fred." In honor of the solemn or sparkly or solemnly sparkly holidays of December, I would like to share a cookie photo or two. Tonight, I tried out the "Chocolate Hazelnut Biscotti" recipe from Veganomicon:
This puffed dough log, which has to cool for half an hour before slicing, looks pretty obscene. Trust me, the raunchiness is fleeting.
Sliced and delicate 'scotti, ready for another 12 minutes of baking to achieve ultimate crispness. Side note: I used chopped hazelnuts from the baking aisle instead of the whole ones the recipe called for. The Shop Rite produce department came up short *sad and confounded emoticon*. No worries, though; chopped nuts work fine as an emergency alternative.
A cookie attack cooling on the rack. This crunchy and rich cocoa density was totally worth the effort!
Over the summer, Tara made us a great brunch before a mini road trip to South Jersey.
On the brunch menu at Tara's, a damn fine cup of coffee, tofu scramble with spinach (and maybe some other green), soy sausage patty, and toast. Add some late morning cartoons and you've got brunch perfection. If only Jem and The Holograms were on, I would have been in heaven.
On to the reason for this post: I have been reading many of the other excellent blogs involved in VeganMoFo and I saw some insanely delicious looking tofu Benedict food porn:
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Ka.....CHING.
