This Week in Whu-Whuut

*Cartman voice* Summer is almost over, you guys!

You know what that means: The next four months will dump an avalanche of Oscar bait (which you can check out in the 2012 Fall Movie Preview issue of Entertainment Weekly - KSTEW AND RPATZ ARE ON THE COVER OMFGROFL), new and returning addictive TV shows, and hot music onto the masses. Here are some things I'm excited about (besides the obvious):

• Mylene.net has reported that French-Canadian pop queen Mylene Farmer is in the studio recording her ninth full-length studio album with plans for a December release. If such works out, perhaps a single will drop by October (seven exclamation points).  Mylene is an unpredicable little sprite, and I'm very interested to see what she comes up with next. Since her debut album in 1986, she's done everything from an ode to Edgar Allan Poe to an up-tempo dance confection about committing suicide to a depressing Moby-penned ballad. One of her most recent singles, "Du Temps", was included as a bonus on her greatest hits collection 2001-2011:

 

Can't....stop....emulating....bizarre....choreography!



•  X Factor premieres on September 12th.  Simon Cowell is still a dream-smashing curmudgeon. Britney Spears is a new judge.  BRIT-BRIT.  And she is gonna say what she FEELS, people.  I'm ready.

•  Blair F'ing Warner from The Facts of Life, one of my beloved childhood sitcoms, is a competitor on the upcoming season of Survivor, which premieres September 19th. WPLJ radio played an interview snippet this morning in which she stated that she would not be employing any of the reality show's common schemer tactics to get ahead. You go, Lisa Whelchel! I know you'll get by on down-home charm and voluminous hair.

                                                          Acronym for Totally Vivacious Goddess.


• Halloween horror hijinks. Movie marathons on cable, ridiculous theatrical releases, photos of celebrities dressed as Jack Sparrow and Cinderella in the gossip magazines (I know this doesn't sound horrifying, but just peek inside the Us Weekly that comes out during first week of November; you'll see what I mean)....ah, I can smell the hot cider already.

 

*Jason Voorhees theme*

I'll follow up with a run-down of the autumnal garbage I am definitely not excited about. Happy Death of Summer, everyone!